Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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