if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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