I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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