omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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