Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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