is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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