walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
