I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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