The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
