I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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