Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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