If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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