I got her a Nickelback box set.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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