Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
