its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
