addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
then he tried to convert me to islam
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
