Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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