Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
