we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
