I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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