she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
