Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
