He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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