All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
