This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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