He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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