he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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