I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
