DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize