put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
