he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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