I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
