so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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