How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
