Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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