I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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