I should be sponsored by Trojan
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize