We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
