3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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