i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
