dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
