This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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