I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
