Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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