so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
