i think my tv is drunk
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
