i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
