pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
