no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
