Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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