The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize