16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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