Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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