why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
