The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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