You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Barsexuality is the new black.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
