Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
this is an emotional support booty call
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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